


Sweet buns

by Pengi



Category: Black Panther (2018)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Zootopia Fusion, Fluff and Crack, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-01
Updated: 2018-04-01
Packaged: 2019-04-16 12:23:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,133
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14164776
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pengi/pseuds/Pengi
Summary: Bunny Everett and Black Panther T'Challa are partners trying to solve the mystery of missing eggs.





	Sweet buns

**Author's Note:**

> "A baby rabbit is called a kit, which is short for kitten" from Wikipedia

"Don't you look absolutely ravishing today!" purred T'Challa sneaking at him from the back, as always. 

Everett rolled his eyes.

"One of these days I'll report you to HR for sexual harassment, mark my words."

"Not my fault you have buns so sweet I got diabetes just looking at them."

"Don't look at my buns! And don't call them buns! It's insulting"

"Come now, you know I meant no offense. I would never hurt my favorite partner."

"Your only partner. No one else in the department is brave enough to work with you."

"Aww, now you've hurt my feelings!"

T'Challa's ears pressed close to the head and he made 'they kicked the kitty' eyes. 

"Oh, stop this! You know it doesn't work on me."

But his bunny heart melted a little. Damn those eyes! How can this huge cat be so adorable?

"What have we got today? Please tell me it'll require us go undercover at that nudist colony! Because I'll give my paw to see what you got under those boring suits."

"Piss off. It's actually a serious case. Someone stole all the eggs from Chicktown farm."

"We should look forward for a huge omelette then."

"You and your jokes! Don't even dare say anything like that when we arrive there!"

"How I love your little nose twitch when you're angry!"

"Is that why you constantly torment me?"

"No, I do that because I want to be the center of your attention."

"Wow. At least you're honest."

"I never lie to you, Ross. Not even when I say I want to lick you from head to toe and mark you with my scent."

"Absolutely shameless. No wonder you scare everyone off. Now get in the car, we have a crime to solve."

Everett was used to big predators eyeing him like prey. But at lest they had some tact and pretended to be civil. T'Challa on the other hand... Everett knew black panther was just messing with him but it still made him wish for the impossible.

***

"You've got no security cameras?"

"No, it's a small community, nothing like this ever happened before."

"I see. We'll have a look then. Maybe thieves left some evidence."

"You didn't tell me this farm belongs to rabbits!" T'Challa said when they left to inspect the storage facilities that were broken into. "I never saw so much bunnies in my life!"

"Oh, please, spare me the sex jokes."

"Hey, I would never! I just wanted to say that now I'm certain you're the cutest bunny in the world!" 

"You did not just call me cute!" 

"Hot then. Also smart and brave. And you smell fantastic. I thought all bunnies smell like that but it's just you."

"You better use that nose of yours to sniff us some evidence."

Everett was not amused. But then again he never was. T'Challa was a good partner, following the word of law to a T, always having his back and ruthless in finding criminals, but he was also a terrible flirt. From the moment he saw his new partner T'Challa was hitting on him like there was no tomorrow. Were all panthers this affectionate? Of was it the reverse albino thing that made T'Challa so insistent on making Everett flush?

"I think I got something."

"Where?"

"Right here. See, all these footprints. They're from rabbits."

"So? It's their farm."

"But they are too fresh and too many. Also quite small."

"Kits? But why would they steal the eggs?"

"Let's find out. Good cop bad cop? I'll be the good one. You scare them into confessing their crimes!"

"Fine. I'd like to see you try and be all mushy with these kits." 

***

"Hey there!" T'Challa smiled baring his sharp fangs. Some of the kits hid behind their bigger siblings. "My partner and I are here to help your parents. What do you say we help them together?" 

"Don't eat us, mister!"

"I would never! The only bunny I want to eat is mister Ross!"

Everett showed him with an elbow.

"What do you know about missing eggs? Did you see anything?"

"... no?" was the only answer they got from the eldest of the children.

"Hey now. I know you can do better! Answer mister Ross' question or he'll get in trouble at work!"

"We will tell everything! Just don't eat him!" 

Everett looked sternly at T'Challa. Now the kits will have nightmares.

"We took the eggs but only because we want them to be pretty!"

"Yes! Sally from fifth grade told me that if we color the eggs, instead of chickens they will grow to be exotic birdies. Like flamingo."

"I want to see a flamingo!"

"And I want a penguin so I colored my egg black and white!"

Now the kits were telling them all about their eggs and what birds they wanted them to grow into. Honestly, it was kind of adorable. Everett felt bad for ruining these kits dreams about birds of paradise roaming their farm.

"I'm afraid we'd have to tell your parents about it and they will have a talk with you about birds and bees."

Well, their work here was done. No one will drag a bunch of children to police for stealing from their parents. Everett turned to T'Challa and was surprised to see so much affection on his partners face. He looked at these kits like they were the most precious thing in the world. 

On their way back T'Challa was silent. Unusually silent. 

"Marry me?" he asked out of nowhere.

"What?" Everett almost crashed the car.

"I want kits of my own. You saw how adorable they were! We'll make good parents! I just know that our children will be the cutest!"

"First of all, we're both male! Then there's the whole different species thing. And finally, I can't marry you!"

"Why? It's not against the law! And we can always adopt."

"You're serious?"

"Of course I am. I wanted to marry you from the moment I saw you. And I want a house full of kittens someday."

"Oh. I thought it was a joke but you seem genuine about it."

"I never joked. Not about how much I like you."

"Still, I won't marry you."

"Why?"

"Ask me on a date first! Just because bunnies are known for their lovemaking doesn't meant I'm that easy."

"Oh, I'll ask you on the best date in history!"

"A simple dinner will do. Please don't try to date me as relentlessly as you tried to flirt with me!"

"Too late. I'm already planning the helicopter ride and the balloons and the orchestra..."

"Should've just said yes to the marriage", muttered Everett. Well, he'd just have to put out on the first date and pray that wedding will follow sooner than his patience runs out. 


End file.
